


how many times do i have to tell you (it isn’t enough)

by sapphicluthors



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, im sorry, in reality this is me coping bc i KNOW the reveal is this season but i DON’T WANT IT!, it had to be done, post-reveal, the idea for this fic came to me while folding laundry just ask my twitter gc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 04:58:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18242855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicluthors/pseuds/sapphicluthors
Summary: just angst. sweet, sweet post-reveal angst.





	how many times do i have to tell you (it isn’t enough)

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my first posted fic literally EVER so hopefully it doesn't suck too badly. and maybe i wrote this while listening to “1 SIDED LOVE” by blackbear and perhaps i made myself cry a few time while writing this because the reveal is my ONE (1) FEAR!  
> also thank you to amy and halle for being encouraging and hyping me up uwu

The first time she saw her again, it lasted for less than a second.

 

Lena was standing on the balcony off her office, glass of scotch in hand, admiring the view of National City at night when it happened. A quick, almost indiscernible flash of red and blue whizzing past her balcony. With a gasp, she dropped her glass, which subsequently shattered on the balcony floor. Heart racing, she looked around, half-expecting the red and blue to return. It didn’t.

 

 _Maybe I imagined it._ Knowing full well she hadn’t.

 

She had nearly forgotten about her. On a personal level, anyway. It was impossible to avoid the Girl of Steel entirely. She saw her on the news frequently, but they had not had a personal encounter since that night. She glanced at the floor.

 

_What a waste of good scotch._

 

Adjusting her skirt and taking a deep breath, she gathered herself together, returned into her office, and packed up to go home, leaving the shattered glass on the balcony. It could be dealt with later.

 

The next morning, the glass wasn’t there anymore. And Lena knew it hadn’t been her assistant who cleaned it up.

 

\--

 

The second time she saw her again, it was from a distance.

 

It was nearly three months after the first time. She was walking to work, something she did on nice days in National City, and without entirely realizing it, uncharacteristically took the way that passed CatCo. And unlike the first time, she saw her as Kara. Not as Supergirl. It knocked the breath out of her.

 

She stood by a coffee stand with presumably a co-worker, her smile brighter than the sun. Lena froze for a moment, completely unsure what to do. A lapse of judgment allowed her a moment to pretend like everything was the way it was before and she could just walk up and say hi. Then as quickly as the moment had come, it was over. The co-worker spotted Lena over Kara’s shoulder and said something to her. Kara began to turn in her direction, so she quickly spun on her heels and changed direction, away from Kara, as quickly as possible. Hoping she hadn’t been seen.

 

No one called after her.

 

_Good._

A hot coffee was waiting for her on her desk. Scribbled on the cup was a simple “Sorry” in handwriting she’d know anywhere.

 

She stared at the cup until the coffee became cold.

 

\--

 

The third time she saw her again, it nearly shattered her.

 

It was another four months after the second time. L-Corp was hosting a charity event on this particular Friday evening. It wasn’t out of the ordinary, L-Corp hosted events quite frequently. Which is why it surprised her tremendously that Kara—no, _Supergirl_ —had decided to invite herself. Hovering over the crowd awing at her, Supergirl held eye contact with Lena, much to Lena’s discomfort. She quickly found the nearest exit and left the building. She hadn’t heard the footsteps that had landed softly behind her.

 

“I heard it’s impolite to leave your own party.”

 

Lena angrily spun around immediately.

 

**_Those_ ** _are the first words you’re actually saying to me?_

 

She quickly put on her best powerful CEO façade, arms folded across her chest. “That would be none of your business.”

 

Kara— _Supergirl_ , goddamn it, Lena—cocked an eyebrow at that. “Everything in National City is my business.”

 

“I have not been your business in over a year, _Supergirl,_ ” Lena spat back. “It shouldn’t start again now.”

 

Supergirl’s cockiness visibly faltered at that. “You can still call me Kara, you know.”

 

“No, I can’t. You lost that privilege.”

 

She could tell that hurt. _Good_.

 

“I really am sorry—” Supergirl pathetically began.

 

Lena quickly interrupted, pent up anger from over a year spilling out, “You really think that changes anything? Especially now? Some ‘sorry I fucked up’ suddenly fixes everything? It didn’t last time! How many times do I have to say it? ‘Sorry’ isn’t enough!”

 

Supergirl closed her mouth.

 

“I already told you, back before I even knew who you _were_ that someone who broke my trust once would not regain it,” Lena continued. “You have broken it multiple times. It would take a hell of a lot more than ‘sorry’ to regain trust and even then, it’s unlikely that would happen. So please, go back to leaving me alone. You had finally gotten good at it.” And with that, Lena choked back her tears, strode away, and immediately pulled out her phone to call her driver.

 

She knew Kara was sorry. It didn’t change anything. She could never trust her completely again.

 

She went home and drank an entire bottle of wine.

 

\--

 

The last time she saw her, she nearly decided to stay.

 

Ironically, it was exactly two years after the fateful night that drove them apart. Of course it was. She had just finished packing up her apartment and was waiting for her driver to finish loading up the car. She was itching to get to Opal City and finally close the chapter in her life that was National City.

 

This time she hears the _thud_ of boots that landed next to her.  “You’re leaving.”

 

Lena had expected this. Sighing, she turned to face her. “Yes. I am.”

 

“Why?”

 

Lena tilted her head at that. “L-Corp is opening a new branch in Opal City. I have to be there to oversee it, and it will likely become the new L-Corp headquarters.”

 

“Of course. Business.”

 

Lena looked away. Uncomfortable silence followed. She opted for honesty since it wouldn’t matter anyway. “I was in love with you, you know.”

 

Next to her, Supergirl startled at that. “You what?”

 

Lena looked at her again, mildly surprised. “You didn’t know? I thought it was obvious. Hook, line, and sinker.”

 

Silence for a moment. “As who?”

 

That question surprised her. “As Kara, of course.”

 

She didn’t get a response. They stood next to each other like that for a few minutes, until Lena spoke up again. “It was always inevitable, wasn’t it? Us parting ways.”

 

Supergirl shook her head. “I never thought so, Lena.”

 

Lena couldn’t respond to that. Didn’t dare. “I should get going. Company to run and all.”

 

Supergirl looked at her for a moment, with a look in her eyes Lena couldn’t quite decipher, and stuck her hand out. “It’s been a pleasure, Ms. Luthor.”

 

She stared at the hand, not expecting it, then tentatively met Supergirl’s hand with her own. “Agreed, Ms. Danvers.”

 

In retrospect, Lena could swear it was in fact a tear in Supergirl’s eye she saw in that moment.

 

Lena then released her hand, opened her car door, and gave one last look at her with a soft smile. Supergirl returned it.

 

She got in her car, closed the door, and told her driver to head for Opal City. As they pulled away, something in Lena told her to look back, and she did. Supergirl—Kara—was standing by the curb, watching the car, hand over her heart.

 

It was only then Lena finally understood the look in her eyes.

 

_Oh._

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me at @hyesjisoo on twitter or rightfulqueenofcamelot.tumblr.com on tumblr


End file.
